It’s Hard to Explain
I have struggled to post anything because, unlike the Race, I have no idea what to post about when it comes to my time at CGA.
In January, I started a discipleship program with the same organization that coordinates the World Race, Adventures in Missions. Since January 17, 2020, I feel like I have been turned on my head and shaken like an old piggy bank until every cent has been removed, leaving me empty.
I do not say this in a negative light, in fact quite the opposite. There is a sense of rejuvenation and fire and passion! Everyday we tackle different aspects of life. It is honestly hard to describe to the outside community but we take each day and learn what it is like to be more Christ-like in every way. And I mean every way! Our teachers spend hours with us dissecting the most minute details in how the Lord shapes the fabric of who we are to be better versions of well… US.
Not everyday is a gut retching dive into our past pains, trauma, and experiences to discover the lies of the enemy and the world in our lives, but it’s pretty dang close to it.
And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
That is the reason I have had a hard time keeping people updated with my experience and time at CGA. Because it is unlike any experience I have ever been through, and I don’t know how to explain to others. The World Race was easy in that respect. Pictures and ministry updates are easy to post and see and most importantly, to understand,. But CGA… It is a completely different story.
To be honest I have been scared to try to share because a part of me is afraid that what I do is not good enough to render the support because it looks so different from what most people consider a Missional lifestyle.
But over the last few months, especially the weeks in quarantine, I see the importance of this program. I want to continue Mission work, whether it be in the field leading teams in a foreign country or back home in what most consider a “normal life”. This program has set me up for that.
I fight for what I want and for what the Lord has for me, I know this is the next step in my journey with Him!
I have learned more than I ever expected to in coming to CGA. From the Father’s heart, His ideal sense of a relationship, or what it truly looks like to live an emotionally healthy life in a world surrounded by an increase in anxiety, depression, and an increasing rate of the population who struggle with the idea of emotions. I have fought through lies I have believed about myself for years and am still unlearning lies about who God is and what he truly desires from us.
CGA has changed my life. Why? Because this is where God asked me to go and I came and I met Him here and He has taught me so much. My instructors are wonderful and patient and don’t love me less when they say things that make me want to throw a chair at them. My community continues to love each other and find ways to fight for one another. Even in the midst of this crisis we have chosen and still choose to pursue each other.
I wish I could explain it all but ultimately I can’t. I wish I could and with all this extra free time I hope I can do my best to show you how God is moving in my life and what he is doing in the Kingdom here at CGA.
Love you all and I hope you stay safe and distance well.
*****PARTNERSHIP UPDATE***** Since I am still with a missions organization I am still fundraising. I am just short of $1800 and still have about $4200 to raise by the end of May! I know times are hard with the Pandemic and If you have any ability to support me either through prayer or financial partnership I would love to talk to you about my heart in continuing to fundraise in such a hard time!
